How To Ask For What You Want And Get It

Asking for what you want is the necessary first step in getting what you want. That's the way it works! If you don't ask, you don't get – simple.
Simple. Really?
If it was so simple, then why are less than 15% of C-level positions in corporate America occupied by women, although they comprise 47% of the U.S. labor force? And women only own 1% of the world's wealth.
Are women not asking for or wanting higher level positions? Are they resisting leadership, decision-making and authority roles? Do women shy away from being in situations of power, wealth and influence?
Women are still being the "good girl" aka polite and self-sacrificing. This translates into passivity, ineffectiveness, and being poor. Women aren't feeling free enough to state what they want, ask for it and demand to get it. Did you cringe at the word "demand?" If so, then this is for you.
Here are the 5 things you need to have in place before you ask for anything, especially what you want.
1.    Recognize what you want. You will never get what you want if you aren't sure of it. Too many women ask for something that they have no idea if it's for them or not. They listen to what others say they should want. Not a good idea. You only end up with wants that belong to someone else. Rather, think of what will further your growth, your influence and your power.
2.    Ask in an optimistic way – Negotiate for you and them. When you appear selfish and self-centered, you won't get what you want. Perception is critical. If you appear timid, doubtful or egotistical, then you'll be seen as unworthy of getting what you are asking for. Everyone who goes to bat for you wants to be certain you are worthy of their time and efforts.
3.    Ask the right person. You'll never get what you want when you chase the wrong person and expect them to open doors, give you opportunities or believe in you. Do your homework and think of your request for the long term. Study who controls the string to what you want. Who is the ultimate decision maker? What are they willing to do for you? Finding the right person may take some time, so be patient.
4.    Expect to get what you ask for. This is probably the most important factor in getting what you ask for. If you decide that you have a 50-50 chance of getting it, then you are already half-beaten. Believe you deserve what you are asking for. If you don't, then no one will. What goes on in the mind is 90% of your reality.
5.    Don't stop asking. This means not fearing the word "no." Rather, set your sights higher and go back. Find another route if necessary. Approach your situation or what you desire from a different standpoint. But under no circumstances should you surrender what you want because someone told you no. Women who conquer the fear know their value, their skills, and their talent.

When women start asking for and expecting to get what they want, they will. It takes practice and more practice. Start with something small. Negotiate with your kids or spouse. Make solid, confident requests of friends. Graduate to the bigger things when you are ready. But don't wait too long; take charge and strike when it's hot.

7 Steps to Win-Win Negotiations

We define a win/win negotiation, as an agreement that is equally beneficial to everyone. All parties come out of a negotiation with a workable agreement that benefits everyone involved. If your current negotiation strategies are not working for you, change your strategy. Think win/win and let the other person know about it right away. Be up front and explain your strategy. Talk about the benefits to both of you from this approach. This type of negotiation will produce a satisfactory agreement for both sides, and in a style that will leave both parties satisfied.

Win/Win Negotiation involves these seven steps:

1. UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE - People negotiate with people. Getting their agreement that a Win/Win approach is fair and good for business over the long haul.
2. UNDERSTANDING THEIR INTERESTS AND ISSUES - Both business and personal. Know what the win/win looks like. Determine how you can satisfy what they are looking for and what you are looking for.
3. EXPLORING AND INVENTING OPTIONS - Brainstorm several options that make sense.
4. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT - Know what you want the deal to look like after the negotiation. Specifically, what will make this a fair arrangement for you.
5. KNOW WHAT THEY WANT - Interview all the key people involved. Make sure you understand what they want.
6. DO YOUR HOMEWORK – Understand their motivations style and adapt your style to address these motivations. Research answers to the important issues involved in this negotiation in advance. Consider the important questions and concerns everyone will have.
7. FINDING MUTUAL SATISFACTION (What do the parties want? What constitutes a win for each person involved?)

So the best negotiating technique is a Win/Win approach. It is based on collaboration and refers to partnering with the customer, so that the end result is a satisfactory outcome (a win/win) for both sides. Collaboration allows both sides to come out as winners. Never underestimate the importance of preparing to negotiate. Pre-Negotiating Planning allows salespeople to understand the prospect's needs and motivation and provides the essential elements to make the win-win a reality.

Win-Win Negotiations - Online Self-Paced Course
In this course we examine the negotiation process and determine the types of negotiations that cause people the most difficulty. People negotiate with people so recognizing how to address the behavioral styles of all involved is critical. You'll review the strategies behind some common negotiation tactics and learn to recognize the pitfalls that you can avoid. You'll realize there is no need to fear or to glamorize negotiating. It is nothing more than the process you use to reach agreement with another. You'll practice an effective negotiation process that will help you and the other party get to a win/win. If your goals include a mutually beneficial long-term relationship, this course can help you get there. To view this course -